So Long and Thank You

After some discussion over the last two months, the group has decided that it is time to fold. While members unanimously agreed that the support and camaraderie have been incredibly (some might say “lifesavingly!) valuable, there is no one at the moment with the time or energy resources to facilitate and manage it. A parent led group is a great thing, but a downside is that in a group of parents whose time and energy are already taxed, this can happen. Over the years however, great friendships and support networks have come out of this, and we are all the better for having shared our challenges, our triumphs, our laughter and our tears. The group wishes to thank Centretown Community Health Centre for hosting us, and all the various members who have led their time and leadership skills to keeping the group going.

For adoption information please contact the Ottawa Children’s Aid Society.

Halving Problems

December started off on the right foot with good support and story exchange among the parents in attendance. As December is the month of “holy cow where did the time go?”, I'll conserve my time and simply leave you with some teaser topics of what got discussed. If these don’t bring you back (or finally here for the first time!) in 2012 , I don’t know what will!

• independent-thinking child peeing into household vents...screw the vent shut or install a splash-back as deterrent?!
• the blending of adopted and biological families...fine tuning.
• CBC radio story talkback thoughts.
• who can really “lose it” better: parents or toddlers? our finest moments.
• neurological tics...perhaps not such a big deal after all!

In general, the ups and downs of parenting our kids..in all the guts and glory!

“A problem shared is a problem halved. a triumph shared is tripled.”

Happy holidays and I hope to see lots of new and old faces at our meeting January 5th, 2012!

Strength in Numbers

Our October meeting was attended by parents from four families, and while the attendance was modest, the participation was great. The group included a fairly new parent who is dealing with many issues that other members could very much remember and relate to. Starting a family through adoption is intense and very much a roller coaster.

Our discussion ran the gamut of acknowledging the lows and recounting the highs. Stories of attachment, doubts, breakthroughs, coping tools, accomplishments, joys, post adoption depression, and relationship remedies kept the conversations flowing.

As always, we laughed at ourselves and with each other. Who knew Pull-ups could explode?! By evening’s end everyone present left feeling heard and energized. Job done everyone!

Back to School and Back to Support

Our first meeting of the new school year was a welcome one this month. Previous attendees to the group were happy to re-connect and catch up on news of the summer. There were some new parents to the group, who were welcomed with shared stories of adoption, adjustment, hopes and fears.

As a group we talked about some topics for discussion at upcoming meetings. Together we also brainstormed ideas for raising the profile of the group in order that we might connect with more new parents who might enjoy the group.

It was agreed that a Facebook group be created, and this has since happened. It will certainly be a useful tool in reaching out to community.

As always, the meeting was a good mix of laughter, serious discussion, shared wisdom and knowledge. The next meeting was confirmed for October 6th, and we are expecting more new parents to attend.

Happy Pride 2011

As Otttawa celebrates our Pride week, I often take a moment to reflect on the amazing people in my life and all of the work that happened by the previous generations and so my lovely rainbow family could have our fabulous queer lives and legally raise our families in a place where many of our rights, including our ability to get married and adopt children are protected. And I am grateful.

I am also finally able to think clearly beyond the day-to-day demands of the daily juggle to think about what are the things that have helped me grow as a parent. My personal top LGBTQ adoptive parent strategies are:

1) Find help with life's challenges and have it on standby so its ready when you need it. Don't wait for crisis points.

2) If you are already in a crisis, don't make it worse by isolating yourself.

3) For help with both of the above, join the LGBTQ post-adoption support group and for once feel completely at ease in a group full of parents.

4) Dance as much as you can, whenever you can, especially if your bad 80's moves will entertain your child.

5) Find a great gym with child care and do all you can to be fit so you can move as fast as your child, especially in a crowded parking lot.

6) Eat meals at home as a family, pack your own lunches, and save your pennies for an occasional babysitter and quiet dinner out. Treat good babysitters like goddesses.

7) Do whatever it takes to get some sleep, especially in the early days.

8) Get your child used to trips and sleeping away from home early so you can take family trips.

9) Invite supportive queer friends over to your home, go to theirs, and generally figure out how to help each other.

10) Resist any pressure to be someone else's idea of a perfect parent and generally relax about anything which is not crucial to health or safety.

Happy Pride 2011!

Family Day Article in the Ottawa Citizen - Feb 20, 2011

I am glad to support Ottawa's LGBTQ family day celebration.
Here's the article in the Ottawa Citizen.
http://www.ottawacitizen.com/story_print.html?id=4318471&sponsor=

New Year, Better Support

Our January meeting was truly comforting for me because two new families attended and I gained nuggets from their stories which gave me new insight on my parenting. I have long thought that the smartest people are those who actively seek and offer support in our community and this was reconfirmed by an amazing, smart and enjoyable group who were willing to share a caring ear and some much-needed laughter. Many of us face incredible challenges in parenting special needs adoptive children and it is a true pleasure to witness the strength and resourcefulness of fiercely loving parents.

With appreciation,

Celeste