As Otttawa celebrates our Pride week, I often take a moment to reflect on the amazing people in my life and all of the work that happened by the previous generations and so my lovely rainbow family could have our fabulous queer lives and legally raise our families in a place where many of our rights, including our ability to get married and adopt children are protected. And I am grateful.
I am also finally able to think clearly beyond the day-to-day demands of the daily juggle to think about what are the things that have helped me grow as a parent. My personal top LGBTQ adoptive parent strategies are:
1) Find help with life's challenges and have it on standby so its ready when you need it. Don't wait for crisis points.
2) If you are already in a crisis, don't make it worse by isolating yourself.
3) For help with both of the above, join the LGBTQ post-adoption support group and for once feel completely at ease in a group full of parents.
4) Dance as much as you can, whenever you can, especially if your bad 80's moves will entertain your child.
5) Find a great gym with child care and do all you can to be fit so you can move as fast as your child, especially in a crowded parking lot.
6) Eat meals at home as a family, pack your own lunches, and save your pennies for an occasional babysitter and quiet dinner out. Treat good babysitters like goddesses.
7) Do whatever it takes to get some sleep, especially in the early days.
8) Get your child used to trips and sleeping away from home early so you can take family trips.
9) Invite supportive queer friends over to your home, go to theirs, and generally figure out how to help each other.
10) Resist any pressure to be someone else's idea of a perfect parent and generally relax about anything which is not crucial to health or safety.
Happy Pride 2011!
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